I love to hate Anthropologie furniture. In particular, the way they stage it for their website. There’s this gross fantasy they’ve created of an art student who can afford to spend thousands of dollars on a paint-splattered flea market find. It’s like all their customers are aspiring to be Charlotte in Tiny Furniture (a loft-dwelling trust fund dilettante).
They’ve gone off the deep end with the juxtaposition. You know those fashion editorials every fall where models lasagned in Prada swing around street signs in Red Hook? It’s like that, but on acid. The settings are more deteriorated and the designs are more design-y. It’s like shopping from deep within Fuck Your Noguchi Coffee Table.
If you choose to purchase a piece of Anthropologie furniture, it will only really look right in one of three settings:
1. An alternative gallery space six weeks from opening
2. An urban cabin with faulty electrical wiring
3. A crumbling Southern plantation (soon to be deemed “the new loft” by the NYTimes)
Let’s take a stroll through the Anthropologie furniture section together. What’s for sale today?
vic hugo basing marius on his younger self like
'marius was so handsome. so damn handsome. it was sad because he had no idea but im telling you ok he was real hot. he would think back fondly on his parisian handsomeness when we was like sixty and probably living in guernsey maybe. i don't know i'm just writing the book. anyway, he was at least a seven.'
yeah but have you considered how james and lily thrice defied lord voldemort like what happened?? what did they do?? how did they do it?? when did they do it?? i need answers goddamnit this is important
jealousofthetea said: ian/mickey kittens au
Oh my god, okay so for some reason I’m envisioning a Regina George type person walking around her kitchen on the phone like
“So my sister came in yesterday with two fucking tiny kittens in a box. I guess we’re a cat family now.
“Yeah I’m pissed off. How do you expect me to feel? I never got any fucking kittens and now this one just shows up with a pair of mangy strays and mam’s all for keeping them? Bullshit.
“Plus they’re annoying as sht. Like the black one fucking hisses if like anyone goes near it. If you put out food it like steals it and goes to eat it under the sofa. Fucking kitten claws are sharp is all I’m saying. Dad tried to put a flea collar on it and it basically skinned its arm.
“I know right?? I’ve never seen such demonic scraps of fur. I guess the ginger one’s not as bad. It like LOVES dad, like, so much. Bit weird.
“But yeah we have this stocky little soot-black monstrosity, all gunky and covered in fleas, with one persistently inside-out and he absolutely FLAYS anyone who comes near it. Or anyone who comes near the red one. Or anyone really. The ginger one is a sweetheart.
“But I’m kind of scared of them both tbh? I swear to god I saw them take down next door’s Rottweiler the other day.”
do not let white academia fool you into thinking that
- the greatest authors that were and ever will be are white men
- every great philosopher came out of europe
- mathematics and science were at their highest point when used by white men
- the most beautiful city in the world is paris
- colonialism was a golden age
- europe is the pinnacle of civilization